Wednesday, August 09, 2006

OH vs. MI

No photo to lure you into this entry...sorry. I have some things on my mind to share. Honestly, I think unless you are one who has been through losing your mother/father early in life (before 18) I don't think you can understand this:
Questions: Are their long term issues with traumatic deaths in which children are involved? Does it cause separation issues in adults? Anxiety? Is there a name for this?
These are some of the questions I have...because, frankly, I am trying to figure out what the pull back to living in my home state is? How can you have a decent, no complaints life here yet for 12 years still LONG to be back "home" with what family you have left or married into. I don't wear rose colored glasses thinking that Ohio is the answer and all will be well with family all the time! But for 12 years I have struggled to make MI my home...it was not like this for me in VA. So I have this conversation with the Lord to help me sort out WHY anyone would want to go back to an armpit like OH. No answer yet, I will keep you posted.
The craziest thing is the look in people's eyes whom I tell this longing to. I see it in your eyes when you look at me like I have a few marbles loose and that I am just unstable in some way. You don't understand why we could move from a fine job, fine community (wink, wink), and kids in h.s. I don't either. I have asked myself a million times. I have tried to talk myself into loving this place. I keep coming back to it not being my home...and I want to go home-to OH. So today, I came up with....WHO CARES IF YOU THINK WE'RE CRAZY?! I am no longer going to share these things with you, you with the "oh boy she is nuts again with this Ohio moving deal-e-o". We will just pray quietly, talk quietly and if it is the will of our Lord....MOVE VERY LOUDLY!

4 comments:

haasenfoose said...

Everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. The problem is listening to them or listening to others that think they know better than you. Then again sometimes it takes an outsider to help you see in the windows you can't see through because you have been looking at the same site for so long. Maybe you want to return because of family or friends. Maybe you never realy wanted to leave and now your concious is catching up with you. Or maybe you just miss "home". In any event with such a move when it also involves your family make sure you are not moving back for the love of the memories you had here and that it's for making new memories. Then again maybe this is just a bunch of bs and I don't know what I'm talking about. :)

Diary of a motherless daughter said...

Memories don;t enter the equasion...only missing family and HOME!

haasenfoose said...

Then you do what your heart tells you. You guys would certainly have a lot of friends welcoming you back!

Diary of a motherless daughter said...

FAMILY AND FRIENDS are what we are coming home to!