Friday, November 03, 2006
Great Aunt Vera
On the phone with Vera tonight, I really began to miss her. She is still alive at 84 but I will at some point, be unable to converse with her concerning my mom. I will miss her putting down the phone for every phone number I recite to her a hundred times because she forgot it from the last time I called. I will miss her saying "yal" instead of yep or yes. I will miss her reminiscence about her husband, my uncle Harold who passed in 1973. I will miss her voice.
Tonight, I told her that I felt like she was a mother to me and that she was the most unselfish person I knew. She didn't have to buy me school clothes, supplies or take me shopping and to McDonalds on Saturdays. She has always been far too hard on herself and punishing of herself. I told her that she was not responsible for all the bad things people had done to her. (Too personal to share here). She has always been a hard working survivor. Tonight, I was proud to say that she had fulfilled the Godmother role she promised my mother she would be if anything happened to mom. She did it, mission accomplished.
ADD ON NOTE HERE: 12-12-06 I talked with her this morning and she told me about an incident (I had to ask/pry). She stated she was about 8 and she was playing on Winkles St. in Elyria with her girlfriends. She tripped on the step as she was running back to "base" in a game of hide and seek. She fell and hit her head and was bleeding. She saw blood on her dress and crying she went inside to her mother. She was crying alot and her father told her to be quiet. She could not so he punched her in the back. She said she bit her tongue so hard to keep quiet and it worked. I guess he was a very abusive man to his wife and family. I asked her how he got to be this way, although she said it was born in him, she also stated his mother was very abusive. Amazing how the cycle continues! This is why she did not have children. Her husband, Harold loved children but she would not have any. She miscarried once.
Her mother died after contracting pneumonia. The story goes that she went out to shovel before her husband got home and contracted it. The doctor (in the 1920's) went to the house and she was ordered for bed rest. The brother went to make fried eggs for himself and the dad didnt like that so he ordered his wife up from bedrest and she made the eggs. He would not let her rest so she became more ill and suffered greatly. Vera said in those days a pill was given to speed the death process and this was given to her mother. Vera was 9 and her mother begged the older daughter, Louise (my grandmother) to take care of Vera. After multiple times of asking, Louise, overcome with grief, stated she would and then their mother passed away. Louise who was married to George at the time, lived with her family in the house for about a year and moved out taking Vera as well.